If you wish to follow me

My site is ramblingsfromamum

I hope to see you there 🙂

 

emptynestdotme is no longer used – but due to lovely comments given,  I shall keep it up. Apologies if this has caused anyone confusion, that was not my intent.

 

Mumsy

 

 

#WordlessWednesday

#WordlessWednesday.

 

Watch this and share….I had chills!

If you enjoy my writing

May I ask that you visit me at ramblingsfromamum.

 

I started this site first and because I have comments on it I do not wish to close it.

The rest of my story 1st time mum is on ramblings plus many more posts that I have added.

 

Thank you for popping in and reading and I hope to see you on ramblings real soon.

 

xxx

 

 

1st Time Mum Chapter 1

I shall preempt this Post by saying this is was the 1st blog site I started. I do not post any more on this but if you are interested in keeping track of me you can find me at ramblingsfromamum.

I leave this site up for the lovely comments from everyone and I haven’t the heart to delete it.

Some of us have pets before we ‘replace’ them with children. That was the case for us, Ash our Golden Retriever was the baby in our family, but things soon changed after the first pregnancy test, which incidentally proved negative. Three weeks later, as my boobs were continuing to feel sore and no sign of a period, I took another and this one read positive. I phoned my doctor for the first available appointment. Yes positive, I was approximately 10 weeks pregnant; baby would be due in March. I was elated when I found out. It was a thrilling feeling, similar to setting foot on your first roller coaster ride. Unlike the ride where you could disembark, there was no getting off this one, and knowing that I was now nurturing a human being inside of me was both a joyous and terrifying thought.

By the time I drove home my mind was racing with so many questions firstly how do I tell my news – straight out, subtly or tell my husband that Ash would be having a brother or sister in nine months? Then there were the questions of would I make a good mother, can I look after a baby, would I drown him/her with their first bath?

I opted for the ‘Ash is going to have a brother/sister’ line when I told my husband. Yes, as any prospective father to be there was the initial slight shock, the ‘are you sure’, followed by the excitement of what was taking place.

Our first Ultrasound was three weeks later, where after having to consume a rather large amount of water and having to wait through those agonizing minutes without being able to relieve myself was the beginning of the ride. Up on the table to have my stomach smeared with gel, I gripped Garry’s hand tightly.  I felt restless and impatient as the technician glided the ultrasonic camera over my belly. Then we finally saw the image. My feelings then shifted from nervousness to that of complete wonderment. Though the picture that was visible on the monitor looked nothing more than a blob with extended parts, he/she was there right in front of me and that is when I became aware that this was happening that there was a little life inside of me. He/she was at this stage was four finger breadths long, aged 13 weeks and one day and was due to be born on the 22^nd March 1983.

After the Ultrasound as I was shaking uncontrollably, Garry took me to a nearby Café where I tried to regain some composure, both of us were absorbed in what had taken place and elated that in nine months time we would actually become parents. Like the majority, we had started as a couple, and then a married couple, and now we were going to be ‘mummy and daddy’. The implications were overwhelming, as we imagined and discussed, the pre-natal classes, the possible cravings at all hours of the day or night, the probable mood swings as new hormones bounced their way through my body. How much would a baby change our lives? Would we be able to survive it all?

The elation of being pregnant was also accompanied with equally powerful feelings of apprehension. As I got further into my pregnancy I waited anxiously and excitedly to feel “its” first movement. I enjoyed being pregnant, apart from the obvious weight gain and my natural concerns over what childbirth would feel like. How much pain I would suffer? Would our baby be normal? And how long would it take before I looked ‘normal’ again?  These anxieties were combined with a severe lack of sleep towards the end of the pregnancy, as the birth was due in the warmer months. Trying to find a comfortable position in bed supporting this huge bulge in front of me was near nigh impossible, as I battled with several pillows every night under my legs and tummy.

Early in November of 1982, usually after I had settled into bed for the evening, I began to experience some strange sensations, as if there were bubbles bursting within my stomach. Was it movement or just plain wind? How does a new mum describe this feeling to a woman who has not yet experienced it? Does this “bubble popping” happen to every mother-to-be? I found myself continually holding my stomach, waiting for it to happen again. The bubbles were not as noticeable during the day as I went about my daily routine of work and household chores, but they were obstinately there when I finally lay down in bed at night.

Around this time my boobs started increasing in size, which of course brought favorable comments from my husband. Normally a size 34, by five months into the pregnancy I graduated to a 36B bra. I finally possessed a cleavage; even I was excited! Meanwhile my weight skyrocketed from 56kg to 72kg, although my diet was healthy. There were those odd occasions when I allowed myself a doughnut, biscuit or bag of chips, because… well, I was gaining weight anyway and was now “eating for two”, as so many of my friends and relatives loved to remind me. I noticed my arms and legs were also getting larger, along with my tummy which was protruding by the day.

The Empty Nest A Mother’s Hidden Grief

The memoir is the story of my life as a mother, with an emphasis on the unspoken grief, which accompanies the process of letting go of one’s children as they grow up. As much as a mother loves her children, she must endure, at many stages of their growth, the pain of losing them. The inevitable “cutting of the ties” culminates when the day arrives for her children to leave home. For many women, this time coincides with profound personal changes of menopause and fiftieth birthdays. My own recent experience of this process prompted me to revisit my life as a mother, and to delve into the journals which I had kept since I was pregnant with my two daughters, some twenty years ago. The journals reveal the learning curves of motherhood and I was able to use this material to form both the chronological backbone of the memoir, and to expose the “heart” of the story in the touching and personal moments that I had recorded.